The Death of Online Dating, How a little book switched the face of a $1B industry

How a little book switched the face of a $1B industry

…and so the story starts


A billion dollars ter subscriptions, 1500 sites, two 800 pound gorillas, 20 million profiles all sounding exactly the same, 250 questions to finish the sign-up, and te the middle of it all is mij (and you) looking for love. How te the world is this online dating thing supposed to work? There’s no training, no roadmap, and the online dating establishment isn’t helping either. Why would they? What’s their motivation? When you’re making hundreds of millions of dollars by keeping people dating, why would you do anything to help your subscribers succeed? Instead, they take our money and imply it’s not them, it’s us.

So, herein lay the story of how I killed Online Dating. It’s a long rail packed with crazy twists and turns, born ter Paris but spreading from Silicon Valley to Sydney, St. Lucia to Fiji. It’s an industrial love-hate relationship, or maybe better, a love-hate relationship with an industry. It is the story of how I determined to chuck their billion dollar algorithms and do it myself—to find Judy, the love of my life, and write a book to help others do the same. A chronicle of the last two years, the blog exposes the backstory of the book’s inspiration, what it took to write the book, the business behind books, and our lives leading up to the October 2012 unveiling of our project.

Whether you’re interested ter relationships, finding love, writing, entrepreneurialism, publishing, marketing, or online dating, I ensure there’s something te this tale for you!

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With the book securely delivered, wij shifted our concentrate to other items that arm long bot on our list, but overlooked due to the book deadline. On the brief list wasgoed the need to obtain some market research, verkeersopstopping a duo patents, and get to Fiji for our wedding.

The very first two weren’t too bad. Wij created a survey to find out what online daters thought about the services they used and the practices they had using them. Wij dreamed to know what they loved and hated about online dating-their answers would help us define better how the Mirror relationship would getraind into the existing market. The patents would then protect the unique methods the Mirror Effect would bring to creating a radically different online dating practice.

Neither of thesis tasks were that difficult to finish. Getting to Fiji for our wed-away turned out to be the verdadero challenge.

The airline had planned maintenance work on part of its fleet ter October. Ter prep, the airline needed to stir some reservations to accommodate the diminished capacity. Te doing so, they accidently debooked EVERY itinerary they had te the rekentuig for the entire month of October! To recover, they had to reenter each booking by mitt. The resulting puinhoop meant they didn’t know how many seats would be available or when they might be available.

Being that Fiji is not a very large place (especially the island wij had chosen for our nuptials), aligning airline and resort availability wasgoed a hair-pulling practice.

Would wij everzwijn get married?

For tomorrow: Black Thursday

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The end of September came and, too, our deadline for releasing our manuscript to the publisher. Ter those final days of editing, all palms were on deck. The entire book team camped out at our house. While Laura and I wrote, Judy and Stef read, corrected, asked questions, and drilled down. The laser printer never seemed to zekering printing revision after revision. Sleep wasgoed not an option. Wij voorwaarde have had three 20 hour days just hammering out the final cuts before the deadline. It wasgoed an adrenaline-fueled, book-junkie rail. By the end, wij knew why they call it a deadline. Wij all felt dead.

Wij transferred the book overheen to White Cloud just a few days long of the delivery date. Laura had succeeded te guiding our manuscript to a fresh level—and, ter the process, talent us a beautiful addition to the title. The title went from The Mirror Effort to The Mirror Effect: More Than Soul Mates. The switch wasgoed perfect…and so wasgoed Laura. She had so affected us that wij asked hier to become a voortdurend member of Team MM.

She also warned us that the book would sit on the King’s shelf for 6 months. At the time, I didn’t believe hier.

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If it wasn’t enough that Laura, Judy and I were working madly to strike the publishing deadline and Judy wasgoed programma our wed-away, the kwestie of the book contract all of a sudden re-emerged. Wij had commenced discussions with White Cloud te February, but hadn’t received their boilerplate book contract until July. Spil soon spil I received the contract, I countered by suggesting shares ter Magical Matches te exchange for retaining the book’s rights-a proposal that wasgoed certainly not corriente proces where publisher-author relations are worried.

I hoped to create a fresh paradigm ter which wij would align and playmate with the publisher towards mutual success. The agreement would provide White Cloud revenue rivulets from both the book and the online dating webstek, while at the same time permitting mij to leverage the book’s content without limitation to maximize profits. But my counter-offer had bot sucked into the vortex of the Bookmuda Triangle. It wasgoed now September and I hadn’t heard a peep back from White Cloud. During much of that time I had bot almost begging to get the contract finished-I desired to have at least one voorwerp ended from the activity list that seemed to be growing daily.

Eventually, I received the following email from Stephen, the dandi who is responsible for the business-side of White Cloud. He wrote:

I also want to say that I am not comfy relinquishing the rights without a clearer picture of what our agreement will be with regard to our participation ter the overall project going forward….so, maybe wij should talk after I get a look at the changes…

Fair enough. Wij were asking them to give up the lifeblood of their profit stream, so wij needed to work this opzicht just a bit more to get there. This paradigm wasgoed most likely the very first of its type. Their trepidation wasgoed understandable.

Stephen did go on to say:

And, I want to say that your dedication to making the best product you can ter a reasonable time framework is very impressive-we are more excited about the prospects for your book and webstek now.

I wasgoed pretty certain that they would buy ter. They were beginning to get a taste of our Silicon Valley tenacity. Wij just needed a little more time for them to get convenient with the idea of releasing the rights to the book.

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