I have not met my daily Thesaurus quota yet.

Why Wij Vereiste Come Up With Excuses

You have just plopped down on your comfy recliner with a glass of your dearest wine ter one arm and the TV remote ter the other. You are ready to ultimately love some entertainment time while watching your dearest TV voorstelling “Friends”.

And then it happens! Your phone does the little stimulation dance on the coffee table disturbing your peaceful uur, that you had hoped would last more than its measly thirty seconds. You toevluchthaven’t even tasted your wine or turned the television set on. You wish you could just disregard the call, but what if it is from that hot date you had the other night with Ashle. or maybe Amand. or wasgoed it Melinda?(you can’t seem to reminisce hier name, but that is all right because she wasgoed HOT).

So, you reluctantly pick up the phone and realize it is a number you know far too well. Unluckily, it is not miss what’s hier name. It is your friend Billy, the one friend you have simply for the benefits. He is rich and buys you expensive fucktoys like fresh cars and 60″ TVs.(te fact the TV you were about to witness Friends on, Billy bought for you) But, Billy does not know this evil side to you, that you are playing him for his money. So, you are safe! But, you have to pick up his call if you want some more nice gifts!

If this call is ter anyway similar to the call you received two weeks ago, you know you are ter for some trouble. You recall this event far too well. The time when Billy invited you overheen to the Wimbledon’s house, that worn down, dilapidated house which stunk of dirty laundry and rotten eggs. And of course, you can’t leave behind that cut-throat spel of UNO you pretended to love.

So, why did you end up going to the Wimbledon’s house? Because you couldn’t think of an excuse. Wij all know that if wij attempt to think of an excuse on the spot, wij will get caught red-handed. It is effortless to predict an excuse arising on the horizon, when someone is stuttering and pausing every five seconds.

Let’s take at look at 35 funny excuses wij can use on poor old Billy so wij can avoid playing UNO while gagging on the smell of rotten eggs.

Gary Busey’s Excuses

Gary Busey’s Excuses

35 Excuses To Add To Your List

1. My brother-in-law’s friend’s father’s grandmother’s sister’s aunt’s turtle died, and yes, it wasgoed a tragic death. I simply can not go into the details!

Two. My fortune teller advised against it.

Trio. I have a court hearing at the same because I stole the last cookie. What a coincidence?!

Four. I am writing a love letterteken to my ________ (insert your crush)

Five. I promised to help Ashley clean the toilet at the same time. She doesn’t like doing it alone, she gets jumpy that she will fall ter! Some zuigeling of toilet phobia(a weird name I can’t recall for some reason. )

6. I need to spend some serious time worrying about a good excuse spil to why I don’t want to do anything tonight. :).

7. I do not usually go out on days that end with the letters “day”. Sorry, individual preference.

8. People are blaming mij for World War III, and I am attempting to be a peacemaker.

9. Unluckily there is a disturbance te the force, and it is not with mij right now. I never go anywhere without the force, Skywalker strongly advises against it.

Ten. My plot to take overheen the presidency of the book club is thickening, and I vereiste stay huis to make sure everything is working out slickly.

11. Obama is coming overheen tonight for some tea and crumpets. At least that is what his text stated. And like they say, never ditch the Voorzitter, he likes his tea time!

12. My hamster needs a good washing! He wasgoed playing with the pigs te the mud today. Stupid hamster!

13. I am instructing my parrot to sing Adele’s succesnummer song “Someone Like You”. Why? Because it is a catchy song! Sheesh, no need to judge mij!

14. I need to dual check all of the expiration dates on my milk. You can never be too sure. And I love my Cheerios ter the morning!

15. Sorry, but I can’t do anything for the next few hours. I am permitting my food to digest. You can never play it too safe!

16. I am programma on going downtown to attempt out the fresh Wendys. I hear they can make a mean onderdaan! Did you know they had just opened up?!

17. My convenience zone and I are sipping our coffee and loving some bonding time. I don’t like to leave my convenience zone.

Legitimate. I left my bod te my other clothes, and those clothes are presently te the washer. (At least I wash my laundry unlike the Wimbledons!)

Nineteen. My socks are matching! This is an natural disaster, an emergency!

20. The ceiling tiles ter my living slagroom need to be recounted. Susan and I were having a debate on the count last night, and I voorwaarde prove to hier that I am right!

21. I voorwaarde eat more white dots, the monsters have not turned blue yet.

22. I am being deported Friday night, sorry I will not be able to make it. Oh, the boring and lifeless event is Thursday night? I am getting deported Thursday night, that is what I meant to say. Sorry, the wine voorwaarde be getting to mij.

23. I have lost my fortunate rat’s tail. Sorry, but I never go out without it!

24. I voorwaarde get to the bottom of this Cracker Jacks opbergruimte so I can play with the fucktoy. I heard it is a slinky! I love slinkies!

25. I have to go to the postbode office to see if I am still dreamed.

26. I am attempting to be less popular. Someone has got to do it!

27. I am presently working on my bucket list. And unluckily, attending the book review party on Dr. Suess’s latest book is not on my list.

28. My cat Mr. Spinkles just fell up the stairs. Can you believe it? Up the stairs?? “Mr Spinkles, I am coming, just gimme one minu. “

29. I need to investigate for my upcoming history test. You didn’t know I wasgoed taking summer schoolgebouw this year? I didn’t either, just commenced today actually! 🙂

30. I am observing National “Don’t Go Out At All Week”. You toevluchthaven’t heard of that yet? Truly, it is getting to be very popular te Mokum!

31. I need to plant my watermelon seeds. Yes, I know it is the middle of the winter. Duh! I am beginning ahead of the spel this year!

32. I switched my lock on the onderbrak and can’t get out. I hate it when that happens!

33. I made an appointment with my eyebrow specialist.

34. I have not met my daily Thesaurus quota yet. I look up thirty words every day.

35. I am sorry, but I have to edit some hubs, react to comments, and make sure my Hubscore and author score are satisfactory! Before I do anything, this is an absolute vereiste!

Disclaimer On This List Of Funny Excuses

For all of you wishful thinkers, I am sorry. But, unluckily, I am going to have to burst those bubbles of hope! Thesis excuses will fail 98% of the time, and even that percentage is inaccurate! If you manage to use one of thesis excuses successfully, please let mij know. I will be rewarding you with HubHugs for life!

So, if thesis excuses do not work, what is the point? The decente of the story is that sometimes, playing UNO may not be the worst thing after all. Just bring a gas mask to stifle the smell of dirty laundry. And you had better win the UNO spel!

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