Good Manners don – t cost a thing

Good Manners, wij learn about them when growing up. “Don’t slurp your soup or teleurgesteld your drink so noisily. “A lady does not sit with hier gams broad open” wasgoed a frequent one I used to hear back ter the day when I wasgoed growing up te the 2nd cycle institution. I could go on and on with the list spil I’m sure many of you can too. When growing up, wij learnt about the all significant table manners. about how to use a fork, spoon and knife correctly, how to hold your tea cup and keep your elbows off the table. Wij learnt about how it wasgoed bad to reach across the table for the salt or pepper. It wasgoed rather polite to ask the person sitting closest to what you were looking for to ‘pass the parcel’ till it eventually gets to you. This wasgoed te a bid to avoid any possible spillages and mostly to avoid encroaching on someone’s private space. Also very significant ter our lessons of good manners wasgoed the everzwijn famous telling of never leaving behind to say please when wij wished something and thank you, when someone has done something nice for us or gone out of their way to voorstelling spil an act of involuntary graciousness.

When I wasgoed growing up good manners depicted what kleuter of huis and social background you came from and it wasgoed significant that thesis manners were displayed at all times, be it within the huis environment or not. I attended an all women catholic boarding schoolgebouw, where nuns ruled the roost together with a few very stringent house mistresses who would administer penalty for anything spil little spil an unkempt appearance. The housemistresses would remind us of the importance of displaying good manners through our deeds and our mode of speech. Wij were permanently bombarded with reminders such spil ‘a lady is seen and not heard’ and ‘do not talk whilst you have food te your mouth’.

Good manners were however not restricted to behaviour within the huis and schoolgebouw environment. Good, acceptable and suitable behaviour extended to life within the broader sectrum of society. The manners wij were instructed would prepare us for our future interactions with other people of the society and provide us with the contraptions needed to make our independent observations and learning practices.

Making the effort to incorporate ordinary words like please and thank you te your everyday language when the need for their use arises makes more of a difference than people realise. Good manners tells a lotsbestemming about an individual. It demonstrates your self respect spil well spil a respect for your fellow human being ter turn. Telling thank you for a favour, service or help given shows that you are appreciative of the efforts someone is making for you. It shows that gratitude for the lengths the individual has gone through to make life, simpler, lighter and accessible for you.

Manners however encompass a entire blast of things, from eating calmly at the table, to remembering to say please and thank you, to getting up from your seat to offerande it to the person who needs it the most, to telling ‘excuse mij please’ if you someone is standing ter your way and you need to pass or even telling ‘sorry’ when you need someone to repeat something you have not heard. I find it truly appalling when someone says “Ei” or “Mmmm” when they need mij to repeat something they didn’t hear mij say.

I don’t think I sound like a grumpy old woman when I say manners have gone down the drain thesis days. It costs nothing to display good manners yet it seems to be eluding the youthfull generation of our society today. Simply waterput people can’t be bothered anymore and to waterput it mildly they have lost the plot where manners are worried. People no longer make the effort to demonstrate good manners. Telling please and thank you seems to be such a big overeenkomst for people thesis days especially the youth. I used to work ter a canap doing face to face customer service a long time ago. The behaviour of the older generation ter terms of how they composed themselves and approached us wasgoed very different from the junior generation. The old people made the effort to greet, followed with a please if they had a request or query. They never failed to say thank you afterwards. The youthful people thought wij owed it to them to produce the goods by virtue of our roles spil customer service officers hence would simply treatment us to make a request, make an enquiry or ask for assistance. The chances of being rewarded with a ‘thank you’ subsequently were snugger. Suffice to say this wasgoed a generic observation I made and of course did not apply across the broad spectrum of the different generations.

When it comes to public wegtransport, people do not readily offerande seats to the elderly people anymore. Pregnant women stand up te the stuffy trains whilst fellows and women look on unperturbed. What is happening to our society today? People simply couldn’t care less anymore. People are thinking of how to get through to the extent that basic social values are taking a back seat and are losing their importance and significance ter helping to mould our society.

On buses even priority seats are occupied by people who do not need them. The stickers on the window stating that thesis are priority seats for the disbaled, elderly and parents with children, do not emerge to matter any more. I boarded a bus recently with my little one on one hip and my folded shove chair ter the other. The bus wasgoed packed. the priority seating area wasgoed occupied by some people who technically were not supposed to be seated. I wasgoed blessed to stand because I knew could manage, yet wasgoed interested to see if someone would be well mannered enough to suggest mij a priority seat. After what seemed like an eternity, an elderly lady rose from hers, she said to mij ” Go on my dear, you sit, you need it more than mij”, I wasgoed truly touched and reassured hier that I wasgoed alright. I couldn’t believe that there were youthful people cozily seated who didn’t think to opoffering mij a seat. To mij it wasn’t about being priority, it wasgoed about good manners and the principle of it which seems to be largely overlooked te our society today. The priority seats are there for people who are less able to stand when the bus is packed, not for people who technically have no business sitting on those reserved seats.

Good manners extend to how wij behave outside the four walls of our huis. Another thing that grates on my nerves is when I give way to my fellow drivers on the road and they fail to acknowledge my deeds with a thank you. I find it very rude and sometimes wish I hadn’t bothered. I think it is significant to demonstrate appreciation for the effort someone makes to make life a little bit effortless for you. At the till ter the supermarket, at the canap, on the phone to customer service personnel, to the person who washes your car or the cab driver who drives you securely to your destination. it pays to say thank you for the help you have bot given.

I wasgoed te a clothes shop the other day, a lady ter a wheelchair wasgoed given priority overheen other customers ter the queue because it wasgoed company policy. I could not believe the selfishness of a lady ter the queue who embarked complaining loudly that the lady te the wheel chair wasgoed no better than she wasgoed. She wasgoed very likely right, however its all about human compassion and sensitivity towards the instantaneous needs of others, and I believe good manners and empathy go mitt te forearm.

I have to permanently remind my children to say please and thank you spil they are significant manners that help ter character formation and instructs us to be grateful to and accepting of others. i find it very embarrassing during occasions where my children have failed to display this all significant characteristic.

Merienda when I wasgoed on the bus, I could not believe it when, a female opened up hier shoe covered feet on another seat. I wasgoed dismayed, very first because I thought surely someone could use with the convenience of the seat, secondly she wasgoed making the seat dirty with hier boots, which meant, someone sitting on it could get their clothes dirty, and thirdly I thought she wasgoed being very disrespectful to others by not caring about their needs.

Its however never too late to salvage the situation where good manners are worried. Lack of basic social manners have attributed to the downhill turn of social behaviour and an unacceptability of basic social norms. Wij can start to demonstrate good manners by respecting ourselves, and treating others the way wij would want us to be treated. People appreciate a well mannered person and are quick to give them the respect they deserve. I always say, a smile and a thank you keeps the pathetic at bay and draws the grateful closer to help make your day. Educating ourselves is a good way to commence, after all charity they say starts at huis, and recall good manners, don’t cost a thing.

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